An Alexa device tells a family it will play the movie after they say the magic word

Illustration by RJ Matson; Debate photos courtesy of families

Should We Be Polite to Alexa?

March 28, 2022

Hey Alexa, please tell me today’s weather forecast. Would you use good manners when talking to a virtual assistant, like Amazon’s Alexa or Siri from Apple? If you said no, you’re not alone. Only 19 percent of people with voice-controlled smart speakers regularly say “please” when talking to them, according to a 2019 study by the Pew Research Center.

Many people think there’s no need to be kind to smart speakers, because they’re machines. They point out that we don’t type “please” when looking for information from Google or another search engine.

But others argue that it’s rude to bark orders when you want something—even if you’re talking to a device. Thomas Farley is an author and expert on etiquette (good manners). He says even though voice assistants don’t have feelings, using “please” and “thank you” when speaking with them can help build good habits.

“The more we do it when we interact with a smart speaker, the more likely we are to remember to do it when we’re speaking to an actual human being,” Farley says.

Here’s what two of our readers think.

Saying “please” and “thank you” are always good ways to be respectful to others. Alexa and Siri are made to sound like real people, even though they’re not. Being kind to them is great practice for being courteous to the real people we deal with each day.

When I talk to my Alexa at home, I use good manners when I ask her to do things like setting a timer or playing a video on YouTube. She may not understand me, but what’s the harm in being amiable? Manners should always matter!

Although saying “please” and “thank you” to people is the right thing to do, being polite to a smart speaker isn’t necessary. When Alexa and Siri give us information, they’re just doing what they were programmed to do. We don’t have to worry about hurting their feelings, because they don’t have any!

Also, we don’t say “please” to other devices, like refrigerators or toasters, so why should we say it to smart speakers? We can use good social skills when talking to actual people.